Monday, June 21, 2004

The Old Switcheroo

"I don't know, please let to me ask the hostess," she tells me in her broken English as she scurries off on her fact finding mission. I survey the restaurant, the location of another wedding reception, this one a Chinese buffet. I wander over to AV area, where my ex-manager is setting up the slideshow to play shadow puppets, and watch as the silly telephone game I instigated plays it's way down the line. The waitress whispers to the hostess, the hostess whispers to my ex-manager, the ex-boss whips out the cell phone and calls the groom. After a significant consultation, my ex-manager relates the news back to the hostess. She starts whipping her head scanning the room for the waitress and wanders off.

I short circuit the whole thing and walk over to my ex-manager.

"What's the deal with the drinks?" I ask him.
"Yeah, I just talked to J____, he says there should be enough wine around..." I snort derisively, "but the rest of the bar is cash only." he continues.

Now, it's still a bit too early in the night to start in on my wino impression, walking around drinking straight out of the bottle, so I actually act like a regular human and grab a wine glass.

I'm chatting up the cake decorating committee, when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I glance back, and the hostess informs me that the wine is free, but I'd have to pay for the beer. I ask her about the liquor and find out they don't have any. The bride and groom arrive, and people start to filter to their tables.

"Fuck it, I need some scotch." I confide to my tablemate.
"Me too."
"Let's go."

We take off to the grocery store and pick up a bottle of Glenlivet. Make it back to the wedding just in time for the toasts. After a couple courses, and a large dent was made in the bottle, and the bride and groom start making their way around for toasts. I grab a glass and pour him a mighty portion. I hand to the groom and tell him to toast with that.

"Is this cider?"
"Umm, sure."

We toast and he just slams the whole thing down. He looks at me suspiciously and says, "That wasn't cider.'


Blogger sooner said...

Oh, Lipitor. I can see the archives. I had no idea this was a problem. I'm relying on Blogger to do the archiving for me. Do you have any adivce on how I might fix this problem?

I have often mixed scotch into my cider. It tastes like shit, but it totally screws me up.

8:25 AM  

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